For the guys who are married with kids. Parity in the relationship, is not: husband goes to work and makes the money, wife stays home and takes care of the kids and house. We like to tell ourselves that this arrangement is fair. Sorry guys, it’s not. Many stay at home mom’s are bitter. And many marriages are suffering needlessly.
I’ve been working from home now for 4.5 years. I’m one of the few to have seen both sides of this argument. Taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and fixing and cleaning up after dinner is not the same as going to work, power lunching, BS’ing with coworkers, flying to conferences, and watching the financial coffers of the partnership. It’s a fine approach WHEN THERE ARE NO KIDS! Kids change the “equation” to an “inequality”, fast.
Some solutions: babysitters, maids, nannies.
Zero cost solutions: Let your wife go out after you get home every now and then. Regularity is important. Give her a day she can count on every week.
Or, try this: every Saturday afternoon, let her go do what she wants, and YOU fix dinner. Then after eating, have a babysitter show up, and go out dancing or to dance lessons (if you don’t know anything about this, look into west coast swing dance lessons in your area.) Most women love to dance. See if this improves her attitude. It’s almost a sure thing.
If you choose to ignore this advice, go ahead. Lot’s of people do. But don’t come home expecting your wife to be all cheerie and satisfy your sexual needs. She’s got the raw end of the deal and has every right to collapse on the bed at night and give you the cold shoulder. What’s sad is that a positive feedback loop may result, where the wife makes life hard for you at home, and then you decide to work more, and on and on.
Break the cycle and improve your marriage. What worked for our parents does not make it right.
PS: If you dig ditches for a living, then you can ignore this advice. (G)
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